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| SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT 23/02/2010 at 10:04 #762 | |
Chrisrail
384 posts |
SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons. Log in to reply |
| SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT 23/02/2010 at 10:04 #6897 | |
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Chrisrail
384 posts |
SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons. Log in to reply |
| SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT 23/02/2010 at 16:04 #6904 | |
Tristan
60 posts |
Totally brilliant as brightened up my day, thankyou Chris 
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| SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT 23/02/2010 at 17:20 #6907 | |
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lpeters
160 posts |
This is obviously inspired by the naming and natural? discovery of the 112th? element today(ish?) and that is actually so bloody accurate it's scary!
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| SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT 24/02/2010 at 13:13 #6918 | |
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caedave
142 posts |
Chris, please, PLEASE can I quote this on another site. Dave M. Log in to reply |
| SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT 24/02/2010 at 19:58 #6925 | |
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Lardybiker
771 posts |
I sent this to my co-workers and even being American, they thought it was very funny.....Guess it applies no matter where you live! And Check this out too! http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Governmentium Log in to reply |