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| Guidance for Singing Festive Songs 17/12/2009 at 09:40 #391 | |
Chrisrail
384 posts |
Guidance for the singing of 'Festive Songs' The Rocking Song > Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir; We will lend a coat of fur, We > will rock you, rock you, rock you, We will rock you, rock you, rock you: > > [Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk of > allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux fur, a nice > cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be considered a > suitable alternative.[/color][/color]> > Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau > check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby Jesus. > Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times and be > prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking commences. > > > Jingle Bells > Dashing through the snow > In a one horse open sleigh > O'er the fields we go > Laughing all the way > > A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe > for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also > consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, > particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, > permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To > avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request > that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise > nuisance. > > > While Shepherds Watched > While shepherds watched > Their flocks by night > All seated on the ground > The angel of the Lord came down > And glory shone around > > The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety > regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate > seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and > orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due > to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year that they should > watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd > observation huts. > Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her > glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued > with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and > Glory. > > > Little Donkey > Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road Got to keep on plodding > onwards with your precious load > > The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that > a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the > guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many > rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that > due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph > are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne > particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled > 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. > Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an > infringement of his equine rights. > > > We Three Kings > We three kings of Orient are > Bearing gifts we traverse afar > Field and fountain, moor and mountain > Following yonder star > > Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be > redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' > etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the > potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A > suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in > the recipients name or perhaps give a gift voucher. > We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in > order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC routefinder or > satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice > regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA > for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require > regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also > advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels hooves. > > > Rudolph the red nosed reindeer > Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer > had a very shiny nose. > And if you ever saw him, > you would even say it glows. > > You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is > inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of > any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer > from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary > action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full > investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on > full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place Log in to reply |
| Guidance for Singing Festive Songs 17/12/2009 at 09:40 #5105 | |
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Chrisrail
384 posts |
Guidance for the singing of 'Festive Songs' The Rocking Song > Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir; We will lend a coat of fur, We > will rock you, rock you, rock you, We will rock you, rock you, rock you: > > [Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk of > allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux fur, a nice > cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be considered a > suitable alternative.[/color][/color]> > Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau > check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby Jesus. > Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times and be > prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking commences. > > > Jingle Bells > Dashing through the snow > In a one horse open sleigh > O'er the fields we go > Laughing all the way > > A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe > for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also > consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, > particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, > permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To > avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request > that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise > nuisance. > > > While Shepherds Watched > While shepherds watched > Their flocks by night > All seated on the ground > The angel of the Lord came down > And glory shone around > > The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety > regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate > seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and > orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due > to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year that they should > watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd > observation huts. > Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her > glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued > with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and > Glory. > > > Little Donkey > Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road Got to keep on plodding > onwards with your precious load > > The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that > a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the > guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many > rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that > due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph > are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne > particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled > 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. > Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an > infringement of his equine rights. > > > We Three Kings > We three kings of Orient are > Bearing gifts we traverse afar > Field and fountain, moor and mountain > Following yonder star > > Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be > redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' > etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the > potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A > suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in > the recipients name or perhaps give a gift voucher. > We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in > order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC routefinder or > satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice > regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA > for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require > regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also > advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels hooves. > > > Rudolph the red nosed reindeer > Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer > had a very shiny nose. > And if you ever saw him, > you would even say it glows. > > You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is > inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of > any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer > from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary > action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full > investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on > full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place Log in to reply |
| Guidance for Singing Festive Songs 18/12/2009 at 01:43 #5120 | |
UKTrainMan
1803 posts |
:lol: Need I say any more?!! Any views and / or opinions expressed by myself are from me personally and do not represent those of any company I either work for or am a consultant for. Log in to reply |
| Guidance for Singing Festive Songs 18/12/2009 at 09:09 #5121 | |
postal
5264 posts |
No - but you did!
“In life, there is always someone out there, who won’t like you, for whatever reason, don’t let the insecurities in their lives affect yours.” – Rashida Rowe Log in to reply |